Spinning in Circles

After I finish typing this post I am going to walk back to the beach, row to the boat, and sail off the hook heading south where the next bit of land isn't for thousands of miles.

I have had a tough time trying to understand my motivations for doing another pass through the South Pacific.  I ask myself, "Are you doing it for that metaphorical "book"?"   The one I am supposed to write one day like every other cruiser who ends a circumnavigation.  No.  There are enough books already  and there is plenty of material as well..  For the non sailor, hearing those words, "sailed around the world" is quite enough credibility.  What is a few more thousand miles after you have done that!  They wouldn´t understand that the point where I am is much tougher.

One of the reasons why it is tougher is that there isn´t much dream left.  I already know what the cruising life is like. Another reason why I am doing this, which has been suggested by others, is that I sail to meet women.  For all the bachelors out there thinking that the salty single handler sailing the south seas image would enhance their odds of success, forget about it.  Most of the South Pacific is a time capsule for the most fundamentalist religious behavior.  It ain´t like it was for the crew of the Endeavor.  And it is too hard to get to for your average backpacker.  I certainly am not doing it for the lavish lifestyle.  The bank account screams to get back to California now and forget about all this nonsense.  PLEASE!  Otherwise you will end up like this guy absolutely flat broke "foraging through abandoned native gardens."  (Note that he wrote an actual book - I wonder if he thought about how he was going to write the chapter on foraging as he was actually foraging???). 

Basically if I don´t catch fish, it is TVP.  Canned food is a complete luxury.  One trick I learned about budget cruising that I am going to have to exercise more now is from Teddy Seymour and it is to not stop at so many places.  Route planning is a lot more complicated than a lot of people realize.  You want to stop everywhere but single handling is loads more work making landfall than it is on passage.  It is hard on the gear and also hard on the wallet with the associated temptations of land and ever present check in costs.  Am I doing another pass through the South Pacific to delay the eventual return home to California?  Returning and having to explain yourself to people that haven´t a clue.  "And exactly when again was your last professional work experience?"

Will I regret doing another pass?  Absolutely.  Will I be glad I did another pass?  Absolutely.  Maybe it doesn´t make any sense to emphasize the imagined profundity of our choices.  Perhaps it doesn´t matter at all.  And I guess that is the main reason I am doing it...  I will get back to California soon enough.  But not today.  Today I will sail towards the South Pacific.

See you on the other side.